A girlfiend I hung out with this weekend has an album on her phone called "Dying Alone" where she screenshots losers she comes across in dating apps or people watching. Its hilarious to scroll through, but when hearing her reason for creating it, it saddens my heart. She said, "Had I known these were my options after thirty, I never would've gotten divorced". Personally, I still think someone really amazing is out there. The issue I've been running into since hitting "the scene" again is not a lack of good ones, it's the fact theyre NEVER available! The out of towner: This is something I run into on the reg in Austin! Not only are we the next Silicon Valley and have men flying into Austin just for work ALL the time, but we're also a hub for bachelor parties and birthday party vacations. In fact, even though Austin is a "big city", the social scene makes it feel like a small town because we run into the same 100 people EVERY freakin' weekend. It never fails, i finally meet a man I think, "Damn, this guy I'd be ALL in with, hands down" and he drops the bomb he lives in California, New York, South Carolina, Colorado, Seattle, Toronto...anywhere but here. The married guy: This is ACTUALLY way more common than I'd like to admit, but I'll find myself drawn to a guy. We chat, laugh, dance, find out we have alot in common, have similar values, were practically finishing each other's sentences and just before I get too excited he finds a way to work the word "wife" into a sentence. Argh! Yup, it' true, after thirty-five the good ones are already married. The young guy: I'll tell you I used to think dating someone younger than me was pointless, and as silly as some young men can be until thirty-five when they hit puberty and grow up, many of these young bucks I meet are WAY ahead of the curve! In fact, it's like they know the reputation their generation has is horrible so they're breaking the mold! I met someone this past weekend who was only 26, but he was smart, funny, intelligent, successful, balanced, self-aware, and for the first time in a loooooonnnngggg time, I was treated like a normal person. Sure, he complimented me every now and then, but he didn't obsess over me. Most men are either intimidated by me and clam up and start self-depricating or they get really obsessed and cant stop complimenting me to the point I feel fragile or like a have to pretend to be perfect so I don't bust this unrealistic image this guy has created of me. But with this guy, I could be completely silly and we laughed our asses off the entire night! I forgot how much fun it is to play with someone. I felt like a kid again and sure, part of that was because he's so young, but damn, so many men just take themselves WAY too seriously around me. Blech! And, this guy loved hearing stories about my boys. He couldn't stop laughing and said he'd love nothing more than to have two little dudes to play with and help take care of. He said I'm the kind of woman he's been looking for and can't ever find...ditto, dude...ditto. The night ended perfectly with, "If I lived here, you'd already be my girlfriend and if you lived in Colorado, I would've already wifed you up by now"...yup, major bummer...of course he lives out of state. Why are the good ones NEVER available?!
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Chelsea VailParenting expert, blogger, inventor, single mom to twins, barefoot nomad, adventure seeker, boho spirit, advocate of play Archives
August 2024
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