I see questions posted on social media often about how to set up a playroom and the best toys for each age. If you're setting up a playroom to impress your friends, then by all means, make it bright and colorful and fill it with hundreds of toys. However, if you're setting up a playroom with child development in mind- less is more.
An understated playroom is less about being a "trendy minimalist" and more to do with the multitude of benefits for your young child. Having a safe space to play freely and strengthen the head, heart, and body should be the top priority. 1) Muted tones Gone are the days of obnoxiously colored walls, ABC and 123 wallpaper and toys that are more of an eyesore than a dirty diaper on a beautiful beach. In fact, it serves the child's best interest when the walls are painted a soft, muted tone, perhaps even Lazure peach, as this is calming to a young child whose senses are so open to receiving. Children can easily become overstimulated by too much color, but they also have the added benefit of decorating the space differently each day with their wonderous imagination. A blank space can be anything the child wants it to be and they can transport themselves to other worlds in their mind. 2) Everything at the child's level I once had a college professor who said he dreamed of a world where every pediatrician's office, classroom, and children's hospital in the world featured child sized furniture and all the art was hung at the child's level, sending the message, "This space is for you", rather than serving the adult and expecting the child to adapt. The playroom should have child sized table and chairs, shelves they can reach, book nook on the floor, child sized costumes and role play, and art hung at the child's eye level. 3) Open ended toy only When I see posts from mothers seeking the best toys for their 18 month old and their 3yr old I cringe! The right kind of toys should be enjoyable to a child from age 12m to 4 or 5 years old. The way the toy is used will change as the child develops, but the toys dont change. The child changes. For example, I bought 5 wooden spheres from Hobby Lobby and pained them different colors one year when my boys were small. They carried them in their pockets and rolled them around at that age. When they were three, these same spheres became the sun, moon, and the planets. Around age four, they used these as dinosaur eggs, apples, or currency to trade each other for things they wanted. Open ended toys are toys that don't "do" anything, but instead allow the child to "do" something with. They can be anything the child wants them to be because they're unformed, undefined, and they don't make noise or light up. My favorite places for toys are Etsy for "Waldorf toys", Palumba, Goodwill figurines, Bella Luna Toys, Nova Natural, Magic Cabin or handmade toys. If you're fortunate enough to have a Waldorf school in your area, find out if they have a store and check it out! Thanks for playin', Chelsea
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I'm finally settled into my new 'hood here in Bend and found a location for hosting parenting workshops! I'm offering "Parent-Child Relationship Matters" for the first workshop in my new community. Why this one? Rules without relationship lead to rebellion Without a strong relationship with your child, nothing you say or do will really matter. In fact, your relationship with yourself, your spouse, your friends and colleagues, and your relationship with the world also matters. In this workshop, I'll be helping parents identify how relationships in the home, and outside the home, affect their relationship with their child and indirectly affect their child's behavior. I'll also be teaching parents how to build, maintain, and preserve their relationship with their child even among the most challenging situations we all encounter. Kids will never do what you say. They'll only do what you do. I'll be dispelling myths about discipline, punishment and consequences that we all know to "work" and offering alternatives to decreasing problem behaviors while preserving the parent-child relationship.
I'll teach parents the value of letting the child own their problem using intrinsic motivators and strengthening their child's inner moral compass rather than using traditional forms of punishment that cause children to be angry with parents, therefore putting the responsibility on the parents and punishment rather than taking ownership of their choices. Are you local and wish to attend? Check the services tab to purchase a ticket. If you're not local, I'll post a video of the workshop on my "members only" page for the tribe. Click "join the tribe" to subscribe and access exclusive content. Looking forward to supporting you and your family. Be well, Chelsea This week's podcast focused on reading and storytelling. Reading to a young child, and with a young child, should be about building the brain, stretching the imagination and relationship building between parent and child. We should be reading stories that speak to their interests, where they are developmentally, and helps them take on another person's perspective and learn about a life, and world, outside their own.
Our society focuses so much on "early literacy", and teaching a child to read independently, that they miss the value in reading for enjoyment and character development. Reading stories from a variety of perspectives sends the message to the child, "There are lives and worlds that are different than your's" and helps develop empathy and connection to others. Albert Einstein said, "If you want your child to be brilliant, read them fairy tales. If you want your child to be more brilliant, read them more fairy tales". Fairy tales, as just one example of a strong selection, are filled with rich, descriptive language, a clear plot with rise and fall of action, and characters with depth and purpose. The best fairy tales transport us to another world and leave us pondering an alternative ending, a moral lesson, or evaluating current happenings in our own life. Don't shy away from reading lengthy, descriptive books and stories to an infant or young toddler! They love to hear your voice and there's value in sitting in close proximity to a loving caregiver experiencing the words and feelings along with you. In fact, young children don't require pictures. Imagine reading an image-less "Little Red Riding Hood" to a three-year-old and allowing them to create their own image of Red and the wolf. Books, and stories, have a nostalgic quality to them. There are classic books shared from generation to generation that have their own rhythm and place in the child's life year round, but then there are those special books read seasonally that show the child change is occurring in the world, but we've been here before. The changing of the leaves is often felt before it is seen. Reading "Pippa and Pelle and the Autumn Winds" each year may bring a sense of calm to a child who feels the change, but it's too abstract a concept to fully comprehend without a story to relate to. What to avoid:
Just like each season we decorate the house, create our nature tables, and cook seasonal foods, our book collection should change as well! Seasonal books excite the child year after year as they make an appearance back on the shelves. I've created a list of books we love on a members protected page and added a few fun projects to coincide with some of the stories. It's easy to join Whole Heart and access member's only content by clicking "Join the Tribe" on the home page. That minimal membership fee is less than a few trips to Starbucks each month and provides the resources and support you need to be the best parent you can be to your child. Thank you for your support! Be well, Chelsea Yes, I know I'm kind of a freak, but I cringe every time I see a woman carrying a baby in a carseat carrier. I cringe and then I follow her around waiting in vain for her to turn around and say, "Aren't you a baby expert? I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether I should carry my baby or wear her?"
And then in my fantasy we sit down and I get to share the beautiful benefits of babywearing and all is well in the world again. This hasn't happened yet. But, what's the problem? It's easier to pick the carseat up out of the car and drop it into the both at the restaurant or a shopping cart. In fact, stroller companies have made it easy to just snap-n-go with no need to event interact with your baby! Bingo...that's the problem. Rather than pick the baby up out of the carseat, kiss them, smell them, say sweet, loving things to them as we slip them into the sling or carrier snuggled close to our body, we pick up the carrier and then baby is out of sight and out of mind until they start crying. Why is she crying? Because her needs are not being met! She wants mom and wants mom now. She wants love, comfort, your voice, warmth, and cuddles. And the benefits of babywearing go far beyond that developmentally! 1) Confidence Yup, its true. Babies that are worn have higher self-esteem, confidence and independence in toddlerhood and school years. Because their needs for comfort and security are met during infancy without the need to cry and beg for love, they grow to be less needy. Why be needy when you don't need anything? 2) Vocabulary Worn babies have higher vocabularies, better speech, and improved brain development from being in such close proximity to the mother, or caregiver's, voice throughout the day. 3) Motor Skills Worn babies are moving side o side squirming to readjust within the sling, or carrier, and are developing head and trunk control simultaneously. They're also crossing the mid line (hands over heart) which develops the corpus collossum in the brain strengthening the connection between the right and left hemispheres. 4) Love Transfer Attachment parenting is about mutual give and take of love and attention. Having baby chest to chest with the mother or the father is the ultimate in attachment parenting as the baby's physiological system will begin to align with the parent's. They're giving you snuggles and getting snuggled in return. 5) Breastfeeding is easier and stronger It's a well-known fact that being close to baby increases the mother's milk supply. Women that wear their babies often report a stronger breastfeeding relationship with their little's as they can nurse within the sling and their supply stays strong as baby is close most of the day. I wore my boys in an ACK Wrap or Happy Baby Wrap when they were little and then as they got bigger I wore a Mia Mily Hipster and wore both boys until they were well over 3 yrs old. I still miss being able to wear them and have looked into slings and hiking carriers for big kids! Wear your baby!!! |
Chelsea VailParenting expert, blogger, inventor, single mom to twins, barefoot nomad, adventure seeker, boho spirit, advocate of play Archives
March 2022
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