I get asked often about sibling rivalry from podcast listeners and to be honest, I've avoided the topic for a few reasons.
1) My kids fight like animals in a barn as if the loser is headed for the chophouse. 2) There's not much research backing up "techniques" to reduce sibling rivalry. 3) I think its a right of passage I survived being the middle sister of three and remember some serious knock-down, drag-out, call the "popo" wars between us ladies! I'm surprised child services were never called in for mediation. My oldest sister once pulled my jeans off me just to have something to beat me with. I'm pretty sure it started with me chasing her with a kitchen knife though (so she says). But, the fact is, I think siblings are meant to drive each other bat-shit mutha frickin' crazy to help develop interpersonal skills. Do you know an only child that turned out, okay? Kidding., but not really, LOL I know a few, but many of them would say they wished they had a sibling, In fact, I've heard some report, "I wish I'd had someone to fight with". The reason being that having someone life a sibling, a cousin, a roommate to fight with occasionally helps you learn what people like or don't like. When kids fight at the playground, for example, many parents will rush in immediately when they sense a disagreement or discord and remove the child or the toy they're fighting over. This is the opposite of what we want. It's OKAY for kids to disagree and even fight. Now, if it turns physical, by all means, jump in, but otherwise, let the kids work it out. If your kid isn't sharing and calls the other child a "poopy face mcmuffin" or other really solid comeback, that's okay. In fact, if the Poopy Face McMuffin decides to bop your child on the top of the head, there's a lesson there. Your child will have learned that other kids don't like to be called names. It's high likely they also feel ashamed for calling their new friend a name because said friend no longer wishes to play with them and probably made off with the toy they both wanted anyway. Contrarily, the kids start tugging at the toy and both parents intervene and say something profound like, "Lets all be kind" and robs the children of the opportunity to problem solve, practice self-control, or learn empathy when they have the chance to fight with another kid. At home, this happens often between siblings because, as life would have it, we're not always around to intervene. Notice how fights always seem to break out went you're in the shower? That's the universe conspiring to help your kids develop the interpersonal skills they need without parental involvement. So, sit back, have a glass of wine, read a magazine and let you kids duke it out! Ha ha!
0 Comments
Whenever I travel anywhere I always google "what to do with kids in X" and I was surprised when I moved to Bend the endless options I discovered for a crunchy mama like me! So, if you dream of a place where the kids can run wild, climb trees, get dirty, collect bugs, and breathe fresh air, Bend is where its at for your next family vacay. 1. Endless Parks One of the first things I noticed driving through Bend was the seemingly endless amount of parks and playgrounds to explore. A family favorite is the "pirate ship" park at Columbia Park and the tube slide that ends at the trail by the Dechutes. Also, Larkspur Park has several huge playgrounds, but also hiking trails nearby! Harmon Park is usually hoppin' with kids afterschool and has a fenced greenspace for soccer and frisbee right by the river, too. Farewell Bend Park has a great playground, faux rock climbing, and shallow river access for kids to play. 2. Water Play Tumalo falls is a short 20-30 minute drive outside of town chock full of trees to climb and trails along the creeks. My boys loved walking across a giant tree trunk that had fallen across the creek. Devil's Lake and Paulina Lake are both a short drive outside of town and are a GORGEOUS place to take a canoe or kayak and have a picnic and a cold craft brew just about any time of year. My kids chased dogs around Paulina Lake for hours while my partner and I had a few beers by the water! There are SO many ways to explore the Dechutes River with kids. Take a kayak or canoe out from Tumalo Creek Kayaks right by the Old Mill District. Access the river from Shevlin Park water holes a short walk from the parking lot or surf the river if you have bigger kids. There's an entrance by the bridge in southeast Bend. 3. Volcanoes, Rocks, and Mountains, Oh My! One of the first places we hit up when we got to town was the High Desert Museum near the Newberry Volcano. We hiked the top of the caldera with the boys overooking Paulina Lake and we fully intend to return with snowmobiles or high terrain options this winter! They'll have a blast. Smith Rock is epic and a great place for a picnic, rock climbing, creek play, or a short family hike. There's even a rock climbing wall for kids! We haven't been out to Mt Bachelor yet, but we can hardly wait for the first snow. We're definitely putting the kids in ski school this year to snowboard, or ski, and my partner and I plan to snow shoe a few mornings a week. Cross country skiing is available up there as well, but it's recommended for older kids so I'll have to wait a few years before that becomes a family day option. 4. Crescent Moon Ranch I never googled "where can we feed alpacas", but I was fortunate enough to find Crescent Moon Ranch in Redmond just north of Bend and the boys were all about it! Not only can they hand feed the alpacas, but there's plenty of greenspace to run around the ranch and just enjoy the fresh cool air! I love the boutique as well and will be visiting often for handmade alpaca wool gloves, scarves, hats and sweaters. I spent 15 years in Austin, 5 years with my boys and to be honest, I got tired of not being able to full enjoy being outside. If it wasn't 4000 degrees, humid, and we were covered in mosquitoes, then it was pouring rain, sleeting, or icing over. I want to raise my boys to enjoy the rhythm of the seasons and truly be able to enjoy being outside 365 days a year. I found a place where there's no such thing as bad weather; there's just bad weather gear. When you're dressed for the elements, nature is your playground. We've never been happier!
Yup! We moved! I'm no longer living an Austin although I'll always be an Austinite at heart and I'm still an active real estate agent in Austin. I'll be back in Austin every 4-6 weeks for a while, but damn it feels good to breathe the mountain air.
It all started with a road trip... In May I had my diastasis recti repair surgery that knocked me on my ass for WAY longer than anticipated. In June I had two weeks without the kids and thought, "Where do I go when I can't do a damn thing but sit and look at pretty things?" Road trip? My love and I bought a Mercedes Revel earlier this year and decided to drive to Oregon (look out for that post too) and we drive through Santa Fe, Utah, Idaho and finally Oregon where we stopped in a Norman Rockell-esque town called Bend. Driving through the town seeing people surfing the RIVER waves (yes, that's a thing here), smiling and laughing on patios, weaving blankets sitting at the park...I was brought to tears! I decided immediately this is where I wanted to raise my boys. I started researching cost of living, schools, housing, etc and decided in two to five years, maybe I could pull it off. Flash forward to hot summer months with kids screaming about the Texas heat, overpriced waterparks, playgrounds covered in trash and feces from vagrants in our yards, we decided it may need to be sooner than later. A year perhaps? But then a HEAP of issues began involving my children and an unprotective person in their lives. Their behavior started to change rapidly. I began to see aggression, violence, sleepless nights, poor eating, and one of them was completely incapacitated over school and wouldn't leave my side. We decided we needed a breather. We drove to Oregon to show the kids to town, let them experience its beauty for themselves and after a few short days they were asking if they could live here, too. They wanted to be one the kids that lived in Bend. So, I did the crunchy-mom thing and made sure I found a place with natural beauty to live, a Waldorf school I could afford, a holistic pediatrician and dentist, and I researched youth sports and activities. Within a week of the cooler air, kinder people and negligent crime rate, we decided to turn family vacay into "we gon' stay!" I'm adding a page here, Bend-Mom, for all my new mommy friends to follow along on our adventures and of course I'll be forming "Tribes" here for new and expectant mamas and starting workshops for parents of all ages and weekly toddler play groups. Follow along on @bend_mom on instagram and be sure to subscribe to my podcast, Whole Heart: Crunchy Parenting wherever you get your podcasts! "Be kind, you're in Bend" Chelsea Pickled foods are my jam! They usually pack a crunch, satisy a salty craving and they last forever so it's okay to stock up without fear of wasting them. But, the benefits of eating pickled foods are grwater than you may realize.
1. They Boost Immunity Fermented foods like sauerkraut, kimchi, okra are high in vitamin C, E, A and iron, which help the body fight infection and have powerful antioxidants 2. Pickles are hydrating Yup, the Real Dill pizza from Via 313 could help with your hangover because of the pickles! Pickles replenish electrolytes naturally and boost hhydration. They're also blood-sugar stabilizing and can help curb unhealthy cravings from the sudden rise and drop of insulin. This benefit means they can also soothe muscle cramps AND menstrual cramps! 3. Probiotics Probiotics found in pickled foods help with clearer skin, gut health, reducing/treating yeast infections and improved cardiovascular health. The good bacteria in the gut means not only a healthier physical wellbeing but healthier mental wellbeing! An unhealthy gut can mean depression and mental fogginess so keep your gut in check and eat some pickled foods. My personal favorites are a jar of "Fickle Pickles" found online or in Gruene or Boerne, Texas. Trust me, they're worth ordering online or taking a day trip. I also love pickled okra, pickled beets, pickled herring with sourcream on crackers and kimchi on a veggie taco! If you're a meat-a-saurus, top your bratwurst or hot dog with sauerkraut! Add pickles or relish to deviled eggs, potato salad, or tuna salad for added flavor and healthy gut benefits!! Ve well. Food is medicine. "I could never be vegan. I need protein"
This will blow you mind: Plants have protein. In fact, broccoli has more protein than steak. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! All fruits, vegetables, nuts, and grasses have protein. They also have minerals, vitamins, and bacteria your body needs, not only to survive, but to thrive! And, they don't have the fat, cholesterol, and hormones from animal products that weigh your body down and cause heart disease and cancer. In fact, some of the world's top athletes live on PLANTS! Plants can even REVERSE aging, fight cancer, and greatly reduce your risk of other diseases like heart disease and dementia. And, theres a difference in being vegan and being "plant-based". Vegan means no animal products, no meats, no broth, no eggs, no daity. Being plant-based means limiting those things to about 10-15% of your diet and getting the rest of your nutirnets and calories from plants 85-90% of the time. Its SO much easier and yummier than you may think too. First, try shopping ONLY in the produce section and seasonings. Really, that's all you need. Your belly and wallet will thank you. Here are some of my favorite things I prep after returning from the store so I'll have easy-to-grab options all week. 1. Sliced watermelon with feta and mint (skip feta if you prefer) 2. Cut up celery for tuna salad, spreading with nut butter, or eating with hummus 3. Cut up peaches, beets, basil, plums, and goat cheese for "salad" 4. Protein Balls 1c oats, 1/2 c nut butter, 1/4 c honey. Add cinnamon, tumeric, vanilla, chia seeds, flax oor hemp. You can also add dried cranberries, pistachios, or sunflower seeds. Let it chill 30 min before rolling into balls. 5. Thai Cucumber Sliced cucumber, 1/3 c rice vinegar, 2tbsp sugar, red pepper flakes, sesame oil, chopped peanuts and green onions. Store in the fridge to marinate. 6. I roast a sweet potato at 425 for an hour while I'm preparing the other meals. Store sweet potato in the fridge for sweet potato pancakes in the morning. Add an egg or two, cinnaamon, vanilla, and coconut oil or milk to make it more liquid if you need to before cooking pancakes. 7. At the 20 minute mark, I'll add cubed butternut sqash to the oven in a glass dish with grassfed butter and salt and pepper. Mash this on a tostada topped with black beans, pico, avocado, and cashew cheese if you like for a mexican tostada lunch or dinner. 8. I also made tuna salad with vegan mayo, celery, mustard, salt, pepper and a soft boiled egg. I'll top half an avocado with this or eat in on a Wasa cracker (low carb, high fiber) 9. Greek Salad Chopped cucumber, tomato, kalamata olives, artichoke hearts, feta cheese and a tad greek dressing or use olive oil. Stir together and store in the fridge. Add fresh onion when you're ready to eat it. 10. Vegan Taco Soup 1 can corn, 1 can black beans, 1 can rotel,, 1 pkg taco seasoning, 1c vegan crumbles from freezer section (optional). Cook on the stove on low until flavors meld and crumbles are cooked. Top with corn chips, pico, or black olives and cilantro! Bonus: I also make taco meat with mushrooms and cashews pureed and cooked down with water simmering on the stove. Add in taco seasoning and use for tacos, taco bowl, or enchiladas! 11. Portobello Steaks or Fajitas Marinate and grill a portobello mushroom like a steak, or sautee with peppers and onion and fajita seasoning for fajitas. Top with jack cheese (cashew option), olives, jalapenos, and pico. 12. Jackfruit "Chicken" Jackfruit is rumored to be a kick-in-the-dick to prepare, but it can be found canned at specialty grocers. Cook with mexican seasonings for carnitas option or pull it apart and roast in verde salsa for "chicken" enchiladas. It can also be dipped in panko crumbs and fried in olive oil or grassfed butter for chicken nuggets. Mix with mashed chickpeas if you'd like it to hold up stronger for frying. We also have a basket full of fruit! Apples, bananas, peaches, kiwis, papaya, mango, strawberries, blackberries and blueberries. Our freezer usually has frozen peaches, cherries, acai packets and wheatgrass for smoothies or packed lunches. Our pantry staples are usually oatmeal, ezekial bread, corn tortillas, canned fish, oysters and sardines (I'm obsessed), popcorn, and LOTS of nuts like almonds, cashews, pistachios, and various seeds to sprinkle on things. I also love to snack on pickled things like pickled veggies, kimchi, pickled okra, peperocini peppers and pickles made with different spices and fermented items are SOOOOO good for maintaining gut health. Drink your coffee black if you can handle it and drink LOTS of water throughout the day and you'll feel like you've discovered the fountain of youth!! Be well. Food IS medicine. |
Chelsea VailParenting expert, blogger, inventor, single mom to twins, barefoot nomad, adventure seeker, boho spirit, advocate of play Archives
March 2022
Categories |